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Mayor Roger Claar censors BBC America

Cites 'credible' terrorist threat to Bolingbrook

Bolingbrook Mayor Roger Claar ordered Comcast to remove his interview with BBC America from last Friday's broadcast.

Sources close to Claar say that the mayor had credible evidence that terrorists were going to use the interview to send a coded message to cells operating in Bolingbrook.

"The terrorists know that a strike against Bolingbrook could bring down Chicago's economy." Said a source who asked to be called Steve. "So they are trying to use very unconventional tactics against our Village."

According to Steve, the terrorist cells want to plant explosive yard signs around Bolingbrook, and set them off at the same time.

"They plan on placing these seemingly innocent signs in people's yard. Signs like, 'Our kid is in school,' 'I like baseball,' 'Puppies are cute,' and nobody wants to have these signs removed from their yards."

In the search for the terrorists, police discovered evidence to suggest that terrorists might encode a trigger message in Roger Claar's BBC interview. The sources say that Claar, reluctantly decided to use his powers under the PATRIOT Act to have his interview removed from last Friday's BBC America broadcast.

"Basically, Roger demanded a list of every web site visited by Comcast's employees." Said Steve. "So they had to back down. I mean do you want Roger knowing what porn sites you like to visit?"

Steve says that the interview, with Jeremy Paxman was removed and replaced with an older interview, and Claar's was removed from all the promos for the broadcast. No one in the Chicago area even knew that Roger was scheduled to be on the air.

The BBC interviewed Claar as part of the mayor's Internet campaign to promote British investment in Bolingbrook. Claar was told that in order to be taken seriously, he needed to be interviewed by Paxman.

"Roger thought it would go well, since Paxman is a real journalist, unlike Nancy Grace, or the other people on the cable news shows." Said Steve. "Unfortunately for Roger, Paxman is a real journalist, and they have very different journalistic standards in Britain."

The Babbler has obtained a transcript of the interview, and it does not appear it went well for the mayor. The interview gets off to a terrible start with the first question.

Paxman: Mr. Mayor. While you have never been convicted of a crime, you're critics accuse you of using your position for personal gain. How do you respond?

Claar: First of all, I want to thank all the British citizens who have e-mailed me their concerns about Stacy Peterson—

Paxman: Yes, we're all concerned about her, but how do you respond?

Claar: You've been listening to my critics, who don't want the British people to know about the great investment opportunities—

Paxman: How do you respond?

After asking this questions five more times, Paxman moved on to other tough questions.

Paxman: Why do you have a $1 million campaign fund that you seem to spend on anything but your reelection? I've been looking—

Claar: Every night I wake up fearing that the DuPage Township Democrats will find a candidate that actually makes more money than I do. I need to keep a sizable campaign fund to prevent Bolingbrook from falling into their hands. It would be worse than a Labor Government.

Paxman: But we have a Labor Government.

Claar: That's why all Britons should invest in Bolingbrook!

Finally, Claar had enough of Paxman.

Paxman: You say you're for minimal government, but let's talk about the golf—

Claar: That does it. You don't want to interview me. You just want to make my family cry! I'm out of here!

While it seems the interview went poorly for Claar, Steve insists that it had nothing to do with the decision to censor the broadcast.

"The BBC understands security concerns. That's why they censor broadcasts all the time. You can't watch an interview if you're dead. This interview just happens to be a causality of the war against terror. You can always read another Roger interview in the Sun or Met. This is no big deal."

When The Babbler asked Paxman to comment he replied, "I have never interviewed this Roger Claar. I need to ask you, isn't it true that The Bolingbrook Babbler is really written by a former Bolingbrook resident?"

The reporter corrected Paxman, and then hung up.

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