Sen. Hillary clinton supporters stage 'cry-in' at The Babbler's Bolingbrook office

An unnamed Clinton supporter cries in front of The Babbler's main office.

Angered by an anti-Hillary Clinton column, ten Clinton supporters staged a "cry-in" at The Babbler's Bolingbrook office against columnist Ticked-off Ted.

The protesters claim that Ted unfairly linked Hillary Clinton to a treaty with the Martian Colonies negotiated by then President Clinton.

"Ted said that Hillary sold out Earth to the Martians. But she had nothing to do with that treaty. She was the first lady, not a cabinet member. She shouldn't be held accountable for her husband's policy mistakes." Said Megan J. Packer, a long time Hillary supporter. "Today we're crying because Ted is unfair, and he should be fired!"

For two hours, supporters stood outside the Bolingbrook office crying and holding Hillary signs. Protesters were well behaved, and the police did not arrest anyone. Some used the protest as an opportunity to attack Sen. Barack Obama.

"I'm crying because a black man is beating Hillary!" Said Janice C. Anderson before she paused. "In the delegate count! Hillary was the co-president of United States. She deserves half of the credit for all of President Clinton's successes! Instead she's losing to a man with an Arabic middle name!"

David K. Zimmerman cried about Hillary's current struggle in the primaries. "A man with very little experience in Washington is winning the primary. The last time we ran a man with no Washington experience." Zimmerman then burst into tears, and then walked away from the reporter. "I can't talk about it. It's so upsetting! Hillary earned this and the Democrats won't give it to her."

During the protest, an RV with an "Obamamobile" sign pulled into the parking lot, and two Obama volunteers stepped out. Whenever someone heckled or tried to argue with the protesters, the volunteers directed them to the RV. Inside the RV, they could make phone calls for the campaign, while enjoying free refreshments.

"We heard about this protest and decided to do something." Said Claire Matters. "Under the old politics we would just shout at the Hillary people, and accomplish nothing except get on television. So my husband and I thought that we could use our RV to encourage Obama supporters to work for the campaign. I mean, we've already voted, but we can use this time to convince Ohio and Texas voters to support Obama."

Packer told the protesters that Bill Clinton would address them via a speakerphone. However, neither Clinton called the protesters.

When The Babbler tried to call Bill Clinton, an unnamed staffer who answered the phone, shuffled through some papers, and replied, "Damn! I knew I forgot to tell Bill something. It's just like the time I didn't remember to tell Hillary about the Obama fliers until they had been out for weeks! She's going to kill me!"

Babbler Editor Sara Langston released the following statement: "The Babbler welcomes Ted's out of this world conservative beliefs and we will continue to publish his views. We will not give in to the protesters demands to fire Ted, nor will we retract our endorsement of Mike Gravel in the Democratic Primary."

Ted declined to comment for this story, saying he would deal with the protesters in his weekly column.

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