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'Cloverfield' hoax panics downtown Lisle

Flying Bean

Confused Lisle residents watched as a replica of Chicago's "Bean" appeared in the air, and then crash into downtown Lisle. No one was injured, but two cars were damaged as it landed in a parking lot, and then came to a rest in the middle of Main St.

Jason, who asked that we not use his last name, was working at the Giuliani campaign headquarters in Lisle when the replica landed.

"My first thought was oh my God! Terrorist attack! Then as I ran into the terrorist safe room, my second thought was, 'thank God Rudy is running for President!"

Once in the safe room, Jason discovered that the hotline to Giuliani's campaign headquarters had been disconnected. As he hid under the cot, Jason understood why it was disconnected.

"No one could have predicted a terrorist attack involving Millennium Park that would send debris flying into Lisle. Since the campaign needs to save money to bring about a Florida victory, I guess they thought they could save money by disconnecting the line."

Jason also added that the campaign's Illinois Terrorist Coordination Center was next to Millennium Park. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

Donna Z. Appleton managed to capture the first photograph of the replica flying through the air.

"I wanted some peace and quiet, so I decided to go to downtown Lisle. When I saw the Bean in the air, my first thought was 'Oh my god, something has happened to Chicago!' Then I realized that I could get on CNN if I took a picture of the Bean flying through the air."

A man, who only asked to be identified as Al, was driving down Main Street when the replica landed. He narrowly avoided hitting it.

"My first thought was 'Oh my God!' Then I thought it was a good thing I didn't hit the Bean because my insurance wouldn't cover the damage. Then I realized that if I called 911 first, my voice would be on all the networks. I'd be famous!"

Once the Lisle police were contacted, word of the "attack" spread throughout the country.

Peter Gilbert, a Chicago resident and researcher for the Clinton campaign, describes a phone call he received from the Senator's office.

"I was trying to figure out how to spin an interview with a waitress, who had served Sen. Obama a Coca Cola, to make it sound like she gave him coke. That when the phone ran. When I answered, my coordinator asked me how bad the damage was, how we could get Hillary to ground zero before Obama could have his '9/11' moment, and he wanted to know if I was OK. I was stunned for a moment. My supervisor told me what happened in Lisle. I looked out my window, and then told my supervisor that the Chicago Sky Gate was still in Chicago. She asked if there was any damage to the park. I said no. She asked if Mayor Daley needed a condolence call. I said he didn't need a call because everything was normal. My supervisor apologized, and then I heard him curse as he hung up.

Once the Lisle police arrived, they soon figured out the hoax.

Said Officer Brandon, "We figured something was off when we realized that the Bean was actually made of rubber. Then another officer found the catapult a few blocks away with four giggling teens next to it. Now we're not experts, but it was pretty clear that terrorists weren't behind this.

Once arrested, the teens, whose names have been withheld, confessed to the hoax. They said that the trailer for Cloverfield inspired them. So they spent the fall semester building a catapult in shop class. One of the Lisle High School students had an uncle who owns a rubber plant, and, with his help, built the replica of the Bean.

"Teens will be teens." Said Officer Brandon. "Good thing this happened on a Sunday. Any other day, and we would of had 10 or so frightened people either panicking or looting. That wouldn't have been good."

The teens were released to their parents, and a trial date has not been set.

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