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Bolingbrook in the Bible
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Bolingbrook Church tries to buy back eBay atheist's soul from the Devil!
According to Reverend Thomas Lexington, atheist Hemant Mehta sold his soul on eBay. Lexington, head of Bolingbrook's 7th Church of the True Christ, wants to buy it back.
"The Devil took advantage of this foolish young man." Said Lexington. "Normally there's nothing I can do about a man selling his soul, but this is the Internet age and anything can be bought. As a Christian, I had to take the opportunity the save this man's soul, and maybe reach out to the atheist community."
For the past month, the church, which rents out a warehouse for services every Sunday, has saved the donations from each service to raise money to buy back Mehta's soul. The money was to go towards building a new church.
"How can we spend money on a building while the soul of Hemant Mehta suffers?" Asked Lexington. "His soulless body may have untold riches from his book, 'I Sold My Soul on eBay,' but it is unearned wealth! While he sits in his mansion, his soul is burning!"
Lexington tells The Babbler that the campaign has attracted national attention among Fundamentalist Christians. While Lexington won't exactly how much money has been raised, he says it is more than $504.
Last Sunday, the church held a service to mark the final day of fund raising. During the service, Lexington said there were those that questioned the wisdom of buying a soul back from the Devil. At that point, three women screamed and jumped out of their folding chairs.
"I feel Hemant's soul burning!" Said one woman.
"The Lord wants us to feel his pain!" Said another woman.
"Only our funds can lead Hemant to Jesus! How can we let him suffer?" Said the final woman.
Later, Lexington read a letter he said was from conservative activist Dinesh D'Souza. "Not only will we save a man's soul, but it would be a major coup to take Hemant Mehta away from the immoral gay communists." Read the letter. The letter then added a last minute fund-raising appeal. "Imagine the most amount of money you can afford to donate today. Now realize your limitations. We live in an infinite universe, yet we have finite minds. So if you can imagine something, not only is it real, but it is greater than you can imagine. That means you can actually afford to give more than you can imagine. So when the plate is passed around, give that amount! You can afford it! There's a soul that needs it more than you do!"
Near the end of the service, Tim Lewis from Bolingbrook's Full Contact Gospel sweetened the pot by offering to challenge Satan to a cage fight if he releases Mehta's soul.
"Lucifer! You'll get the money, and a shot at my soul. Think you can take on a soul powered by fighting spirit of Jesus?"
Louis then started breaking boards. When his assistants brought out several bricks, Louis staggered to the bricks. "I can't do it." He cried.
"Feel the power of Jesus." Said one of the assistants.
"Jesus helped me!" Answered Louis. The assembly prayed and shouted words of encouragement. Suddenly, Louis jumped up and broke the bricks with his fist.
"I broke those bricks for you, Jesus!"
Lexington concluded by saying he would be talking to the devil soon, and asked the members to give Mehta personal space until the fate of his soul is resolved.
Mehta, who also runs a blog The Friendly Atheist (http://www.friendlyatheist.com/), could not be reached for a comment. Though his FAQ makes no mention of him actually selling his soul on eBay.
An intern for Mehta's publisher made did speak with The Babbler.
She said, in a bored voice, "No, he did not sell his soul on eBay. The bidding was actually for him to attend a church, and the money would go to the Secular Student Alliance. The winning bidder, who was not Satan, asked him to attend several churches instead. Hemant did, and kept visiting churches after the terms of the bid were fulfilled. He now tries to promote better understanding between theists and atheists. We decided to call the book 'I Sold my Soul on eBay' because no one would read a book called 'I Was Paid to go to Church.' If you want more information, he will be speaking to the Humanists of Western Chicagoland on December 12th at the DuPage Unitarian Church. The speech starts at 7:30 PM." The intern was then heard saying, "Why do I have to take the phone calls about the atheist book? I know I'm an intern, but this is mean!"
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