Naperville renounces and denounces Gaia!

The avatar of Gaia photographed hovering over Naperville.

Minutes after meeting with the spirit of all life, the Naperville city council voted to condemn Gaia as "Un-American."

Gaia, according to sources who wish to remain anonymous, said that Gaia appeared before the Naperville City Council as part of her world tour to warn governments about the dangers of climate change and humanity's impact on the environment. Humans are part of the environment, she told the council, and harm done to the environment will comeback to harm humanity.

The council, at first, was very sympathetic towards Gaia. They cited Naperville's Riverwalk as an example of their commitment towards the environment.

"A green city is a happy and profitable city!" Naperville Mayor George Pradel allegedly told Gaia. "That's why we want Naperville to be on the forefront of reasonable environmentalism. As long as business can profit, they will make accommodations for life on Earth."

Gaia said she appreciated the efforts of the Naperville, noting Naperville's renewable energy program as a positive example. However, she said, the city needed to do more.

"Every day, more and more people compete for the diminishing resources of the Earth. Naperville consumes green land, and produces buildings and paved streets.  Humanity is running out of land to grow food, and Naperville encourages its citizens to breed more hungry mouths! Naperville, like every other city in the world, must control its growth before it is too late."

Gaia vanished before the council members could express their outrage to them.

"Why does Gaia hate children?" Said one member. "Naperville loves its children. That's the only reason we put up with our teachers! They draw in families and their tax dollars! How dare Gaia tell us to stop growing!"

Another council member went further. "God said it was our duty to use the land as its stewards. The last time I checked, God outranks Gaia! If we want Naperville to have a billion people, then God says we can. Who is Gaia to question His judgment?"

The council then passed a resolution condemning Gaia, according to the sources.

"Gaia's call for 'responsible' growth is nothing more than a call for communism. We denounce the spirit of life as an American communist, who wants to destroy the US and Naperville!"

The resolution also encouraged Gaia to pick on China, instead of Naperville.

One council member is said to have voted against the resolution.

"You know, there are now six billion people on the Earth. Together we're making a bigger impact on the Earth than we have in the past. Maybe all Gaia is saying that we should do more to minimize our footprint on the Earth. Perhaps we don't need to be so spread out. Maybe we can develop the city so residents can do more walking and biking instead of driving. And we might want to put off the resolution requiring all married residents to have children. Maybe these little things will add up to something that will please Gaia."

When asked to comment Mayor Pradel replied, "It's three AM and I am not Roger Claar! Leave me alone!"

Gaia could not be reached for comment.

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