Skeptics ignore the Hidden Lakes Monster
'The Skeptologists' avert their eyes from the monster

Dr. Michael Shermer, Mark Edward, Dr. Phil Plait, Brian Dunning, Dr. Steven Novella, Yau-Man Chan, and Dr. Kristen Sanford do their best to ignore the half-duck, half sea serpent creature behind them.

The world's leading skeptics gathered in Bolingbrook to film a TV show about the Hidden Lakes Monster. Some park visitors accuse the skeptics of ignoring the creature while filming.

"The Hidden Lakes monster did everything but bite them!" Said Mary Stein, a local expert on the monster. "These people were so closed minded that they didn't even look at the four lakes during the entire filming!"

Stein and other experts believe that a half-duck, half-sea serpent creature, or creatures populate Hidden Lakes. First spotted in 1998, supporters claim to have taken over 100 pictures of the creature. While the majority of scientists laugh and hang up the phone when asked about the monster, some xenozoologists believe that Hidden Lakes Monster is the missing link between birds and dinosaurs.

Stein said she recently heard about a show in production called The Skeptologists. Frustrated by years of arguing with the Bolingbrook Park District over the existence of monster, she thought the producers might be able to help her.

"Dr. Steven Novella is the head of the show. I heard that unlike most skeptics, he's actually a very reasonable person. If presented him with the evidence, his team would broadcast the truth to the world, and I would finally be vindicated!"

The producers said that publicly they had only produced one episode. Unofficially, they are recording more episodes, and they wanted to do a show about the smallest body of water known to harbor a lake monster. Stein was pleased at first.

When the filming actually started, Stein was horrified by the attitude of the crew and cast.

"They only looked at the cameras! The show is so fake that Mythbusters should do a show on them!"

Another supporter, Marcus Zobel, said the creature appeared during the filming of the show.

"(Dr. Kirsten Sanford) was wading in one of the lakes, when the creature popped its head up. I pointed at it and yelled. She looked the other way. When the creature moved, I yelled and pointed again. She looked the other way. I asked her why she wasn't looking at it, and she said, 'I'll look where I want to look!'"

Another supporter, Bethany Stonebarger, saw the creature interacted with one of the cast members.

"(Mark Edward) was wearing a cap and the creature snuck up behind him, and took it. I asked him what happened to his hat, he replied, 'I'm a mentalist. I made you think that I was wearing a hat, and then I made you think that it had vanished! "

Stein also claimed that when a cameraman said he saw the monster, Novella injected him with a drug, and the cameraman forgot that he saw the monster.

"I told him that his logic stunk!" Said Stein. "Logically speaking, we can't move because you have to move half the distance, then half that distance, and so on. You'll never make it. He said that I was engaging in a logical fallacy. I stormed off and said that if any babies were eaten by the Hidden Lakes Monster, it would be his fault!"

Another observer, Ellen Anderson, however, had a different view of the taping.

"I was watching taping while breast feeding my baby. I hoping that Rebecca would be there, but anyway, it was fascinating. Dr. Phil Plait said that Hidden Lakes wasn't created by a meteor impact. It was really an old trout farm. Yau-Man Chan said that his reading proved that light behaved normally around the lakes, so the creature couldn't be hiding in a cloaking field. Dr. Sanford explained why it was impossible for a sea serpent and a duck to produce offspring together. Mark Edward said that all the photos of the monster were fakes. Dr. Novella explained how some people could mistake a duck for the monster. Dr. Michael Shermer said that Mary obviously had some psychological issues involving babies, and offered to give her a free therapy session. She called them crazy and walked off."

Anderson added that Stein approached her.

"She asked, 'Is that my baby?' I was so mad that I started to say things that would normally embarrass me. I don't remember what happened next, but I do remember her running away, my husband holding me back, and I was still breast-feeding my baby. Now I'm normally a nice quiet person, but she went after my baby. I guess a baby really does change everything."

When asked to comment, Plait angrily lectured this reporter on why he should never try to interview his child, "The Little Astronomer." The other cast members refused to comment.

The Skeptologists has yet to be picked up by a network.

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