Huckabee and Mayor Claar feud over UFOs
Huckabee Staffer says UFO aliens are really demons

By Reporter X

Are Mayor Claar and former Gov. Huckabee feuding over Bolingbrook's Clow UFO Base?

The Mike Huckabee campaign is the only Republican campaign that hasn't sought Mayor Roger Claar's endorsement.  That's because Huckabee opposes Bolingbrook's Clow UFO Base, says a Huckabee staff member.

"UFOs are really demons disguised as space ships," said John Jones Nichols, a volunteer for Huckabee's campaign.  "That's not my opinion.  That is the opinion of Ben Obina and Hugh Ross, who are Biblical experts and have conducted extensive studies on UFOs."  Nichols added that he was sure that Huckabee, a former minister with the equivalent of a theology degree, agreed with them.

Because Bolingbrook is the home of the world's largest urban UFO base, Nichols says Huckabee wants nothing to do with Claar.

"That's like asking Huckabee to seek the endorsement of the Church of Satan or possibly the Mormon Church.  Mitt can have those endorsements if he wants.  Anyway, the fact that Claar is the mayor of Bolingbrook brings up the question of his moral character.  I'm sure that the Governor wants nothing to do with a man of such questionable character."

Mark Hanson of Bolingbrook's Department of Interstellar Affairs denounced Nichols.  "All the scientific advances of the last forty years can be traced back to Clow UFO base.  These aliens could have enslaved us, but they offered to help us.  In return, we just had promise not to reveal them to the mainstream media.  That's it.  Huckabee says he'll help the country, but first we have to make a donation to his campaign fund.  Let me ask you, who are the real moral people here.  The aliens who give threefold, or a politician who asks us to give him threefold?" Hanson also added that Bolingbrook was created to cover up Clow UFO base.

Zelbod, the Bolingbrook representative of Visitors for Jesus says that his fellow space aliens are not demons.

"We may look horrific to you, but some of use have been saved by your Christ.  Others are just misguided by the one trillion other religions in the galaxy.  None of us are servants of the Devil."

Nicholas, however, is not convinced.

"My faith will not be swayed by a bureaucrat and a green skinned demon!"

Shortly after his victory in Iowa, The Babbler called Huckabee to get his comment on the situation.

"What?"  Replied Huckabee.  "I can't hear you!  But the next time I'm in Kentucky, I will be happy to talk to your mayor.  I got to go.  Chuck wants me to meet his wife.  Bye."

Further calls to the Huckabee campaign have not been returned.  The other Republican campaigns, as well as the Kuchinich campaign, would not comment for this article.

Claar, when asked to comment, chuckled and replied.  "It is true that Mike Huckabee hasn't contacted me.  However, I don't think that he'll win the Illinois Primary.  Not that these two statements are related."

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