Clinton and Obama face off in Chicago for the Illuminati Presidential Debate

By Reporter X

Sen. Obama and Sen. Clinton share a happy moment during the Illuminati debate.

The Illuminati, the secret society that control's the world, gathered into Chicago to hear Senators Clinton and Obama debate each other. Unlike the public debates, the winner of this debate will become the Democratic nominee for President.

The candidates, as in their previous public debate, were cordial towards each other.

"I want to thank this esteemed organization for selecting me as a finalist." Said Sen. Clinton with a glowing smile. "I am honored to be in the same company as my dear friend, Sen. Barack Obama."

Sen. Obama returned the compliment.

"I've had to say some mean things about Sen. Clinton during the campaign. I was just following the script you gave us. In actuality, I consider her a friend, and I am honored to be a finalist with her."

The candidates then explained why they should be selected to be the Democratic nominee.

"For over thirty years, Bill and I have supported the Illuminati without question. We got into a land deal with untrustworthy people, because you told us to. We delayed intervention in Kosovo because you wanted us to stick to your timetable. We compromised with the Republicans because you said it would fit into the plan. We have worked for you for over thirty years, and I have the experience to bring about the change that the Illuminati wants."

"I may not have the experience my colleague," Said Obama, "but President Clinton was inexperienced when he became President. He had a vision for change, just as I have a vision for change. I want to work with you to bring about a different kind of world domination. We can build a world that reduces suffering, while maintaining the control of the world that this body has earned over the centuries. Let's move in a new direction."

Near the end of the two-hour debate, Bill Clinton interrupted the moderators.

"Hillary and I have supported you guys for years. I even had sex with a woman who was Chelsea's age. A woman I wasn't even attracted to, but I slept with her because you told me to. We have suffered for your organization and because of that, Hillary deserves to be President. You owe it to her!"

"Bill, shut up!" Yelled Sen. Clinton. "You're going to ruin everything again!"

The moderator told President Clinton that if he had followed the plan, and confessed to the affair earlier, they wouldn't have ordered his impeachment, and they would have let Al Gore win Florida in 2000. When the President tried to object, he was hit with a sonic stun gun.

After the debate representatives from both campaigns tried to spin The Babbler's coverage.

"This is a major win for Obama." Said one anonymous person from the Obama campaign. "He showed the Illuminati that they can make changes, and he the agent for positive change."

"Clinton proved the value of her experience." Said a Clinton official. "Obama said 'Ford' while Clinton knew to say 'Fnord.' Countries have been destroyed because their leaders didn't know how to address the Illuminati."

The Illuminati is expected to make a decision by late February.

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