Bolingbrook fears wave of Iowa refugees
Can Bolingbrook survive the culture shock?

Could major floods force Iowans to move to Bolingbrook? (Photo by John Deeth.)

Though floodwaters are receding, some fear that Iowans will be forced to flee the state, and some may resettle in Bolingbrook.

"I've seen this before." Said Tommy Lang, 16, who has lived in Bolingbrook all of this life. "A big disaster happens. Everyone feels sorry for them, and then we take some in. Then they get stuck here, and my dad starts complaining about Bolingbrook having too many people. Why can't they just live in house boats?"

Don is more blunt about the possible influx of Iowans.

"Who would be easier to assimilate into big city life: Someone one from New York City, or someone from Cornville, IA?"

Tim Conker feels that Bolingbrook might be forced to make too many concessions to their potential neighbors.

"There are more farm animals in Iowa than people. Most of them are quite attached to them. So you know they're going to insist on bringing them. You know they're going to turn their backyards into pig pins! God, can you imagine the smell?"

Jen and Martha, a committed couple, fear that they may be forced to rent a room to former Iowans.

"There are more pigs in Iowa, than there are women. How do the men handle this? Will we have to bring their pigs into our homes? Will they feel like I violated their civil rights if I ask them to clean up after their pigs?" Said Jen. "We're a hard working family, and I don't want Iowans messing it up by living in our house!"

Added Martha, "I hear that Iowans are obsessed with gerbils owned by gay people. And they have meat-eating days to protest meat-free days the rest of the country celebrates!"

Abby Sterns is concerned about how African American families will be affected by the influx of Iowans.

"Hey, I'm all for Iowans stopping by, but they have some weird attitudes about African Americans. Like one time I took my teenaged son on a trip to Iowa City. We stopped for gas and I mentioned to the cashier that I was from the Chicago area. She seemed scared. Five minutes after I left, a cop stopped us. He interrogated my son for a long time. I asked him what was going on, and he said that he wanted to check out my son because gangs from Chicago and St. Louis like to meet in Iowa City. He wasn't kidding! Why would gang bangers want to meet in Iowa City? I asked him to name the gangs in Iowa City, and he couldn't. Now these people want to come to my community? I don't think so!"

Donna Brooks, a member of the University of Iowa Alumni association, says these fears are unfounded.

"Iowans are people just like you an me. Many Illinois residents actually went to college in Iowa. They have cable TV and the Internet. They know as much about the rest of the world as any other Americans. Sure, some are conservative, but some are progressive. Some are middle of the road. They are human, just like us. And right now they need our help!"

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