We get letters!
The Babbler's readers speak out

Welcome Back!

To the Editor:

Thank you for bringing The Babbler back online!  I really missed you're great coverage of the truth.  Who cares about Mayor Daley's latest scandal?  I want to know about Chicago's efforts to build a UFO base to rival Bolingbrook's?  Can the Chicago area really support two UFO bases?  I know you guys will figure this one out!

Carl C. Lyons
Riverside

Ron Paul!

Why won't you write more articles about Ron Paul?  Ron Paul is awesome!  He will cut your taxes and cut funding to Iraq.  He will end the Iraq war!  That's so cool.  The Democrats won't end the war.  None of the other Republican candidates will end the war.  Only Ron Paul will!  That's so awesome!  Vote for Ron Paul!  I'm sure Roger Claar is voting for Ron Paul, and you should too.  Ron Paul for President!

Louis J. Markus
Bolingbrook

The political editor responds:  Our sources tell us that Mayor Roger Claar is undecided and all the campaigns are fighting for his endorsement.  Claar, however, was less then pleased when Ron Paul proposed removing TSA officers from the UFO base.  That would force the Village to pay black ops contractors to secure the base.  They are very expensive, and could bankrupt the village's secret accounts.  So don't expect a Ron Paul sign on Claar's lawn any time soon.

Stop the Hidden Lakes Monster!

It's been seven years since The Babbler photographed the Hidden Lakes Monster.  Why won't the Village close Hidden Lakes?  They let children fish in the lake, and they play dangerously close to the shore.  It could easily capture a toddler and drag it into the lake.  Every day I hear the creature monstrous quacks.  When I complain to the village, they laugh at me.  The mayor has a restraining order against me!  Does the village really hate its children?  We must kill the Hidden Lakes Monster before it kills us!

Mary B. Stein
Bolingbrook

Stop illegal space aliens

I used to be a respected engineer at Motorola, but then I lost my job.  Fair enough.  I swallowed my pride, and took a lower paying job to support my family.  That's the American way.

Now I'm hearing that a space alien replaced me, and they pay him in water!  That's right, water.  His planet is so dry that water to them is like gold is to us.  So they just pay him in water!

That is so unfair.  No one on Earth can compete with alien who will only work for water!  When it comes to humans, I believe in free trade, but that only involves humans!  Aliens don't count.  I'm sure these aliens aren't here legally. 

We must get ride of these aliens before they steal your job!

Juan Z. Markos
Elgin

The Babbler replies:  We'll deal with this in a special issue.

Thank you Friendly Atheist

Even though I am a Christian, I want to thank the Friendly Atheist for writing about the Bolingbrook Babbler.  I am glad to see that he is open minded enough to read my favorite publication.

As for his reader's remarks about Sensible Mathematics, I feel for them.  They are so sexist; they can't believe that a girl could solve one of their "unsolvable" problems.  Our math is that simple.

Louis O. Peterseim
Chicago, IL

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