The Babbler's readers speak out!

Publisher Chris Olson

Ron Paul!

To the Editor:

Don't listen to the polls! There's no way Rep. Ron Paul is trailing any of the Republican candidates! He's against the war in Iraq! He's against big government! He's against liberals! He's for us! After the Iowa Caucuses, the world will know the truth! Ron Paul will save the Universe! Ron Paul! Ron Paul!! RON PAUL!!!

Dave I. Fisher
Chicago, IL

Obama alien rumors

To the Editor:

Who cares about the rumors about Sen. Barack Obama religious beliefs? I want to know if he's really a space alien? Just look at him! How can someone so young be so smart? It's as if a committee of space aliens tried to create the perfect candidate for President! I keep reading all these e-mails about Obama being a space alien. Yet the mainstream media won't write about them. If this story were true, it would damage his campaign. Are the media afraid to cover the story because it might be true?

Vanessa Trimble
Elgin, IL

Stem Cell breakthrough creates new problems

To the Editor:

Some people are happy that scientists were able to create stem cells from adult skin. I'm not! A stem cell can grow into a fully developed human being! That means every cell in our body is a potential human being! Scrape your leg? That's now murder. Loose a tooth? You just lost a potential fetus! Cut your hair? You just committed abortion!

Welcome to the brave new world!

Gordon DuMont
Bolingbrook, IL

Chuck Norris secures Huckabee win!

To the Editor:

I was undecided about whom to vote for President, but one man has changed my mind. Chuck Norris! At first I thought that Huckabee was too effeminate to be President, but if Chuck Norris thinks he's tough enough, then who am I to judge? Mitt can keep his polygamist god. Huckabee is Chuck Norris approved!

Name withheld by request
West Chicago, IL

Video Game rip-off!

To the Editor:

I signed up for World of Warcraft because of the TV commercial featuring the "Four wheels of Fury!" That looked cool, and I wanted to equip my character with one.

So I spent the next thirty days searching for one. When I tried to get one at an auction, I called a "newbie!" and other things I can't write in a family publication. But the ad said that I could get Four Wheels of Fury.

I figured that maybe I needed a pay account to get the Four Wheels of Fury! No luck. I bought the expansion pack. No luck. What did I need to do to buy to get Four Wheels of Fury?

It turns out that there is no Four Wheels of Fury. It was a commercial for a truck. A truck? What do I need an oversized truck for? I want something that I can drive down the throat of a dragon! I can't do that in real life.

Avoid World of Warcraft and their deceptive ads!

William Quinn
Evanston, IL

Leave Hemant Mehta alone!

To the Editor:

I wish 7th Church of the True Christ would leave Hemant Mehta alone! He's a good boy. Sure he's going to burn in Hell, but at least he won't try to rob you.

Virginia Habenstein
Naperville, IL

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Please note: All stories and characters on this web site are works of fiction.