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Pagans say spells are saving the Bears season Claar declares victory in War Against Space Terrorists Activists try to deport illegal alien ghosts Skeptics bore each other in Chicago Werecats war with weremice Ask Sheila Bolingbrook in the Bible Confessions of an adultolescent Ticked-off Ted God to smite Bolingbrook on 12/23/07 © Copyright 2007 |
Global
Media terrorizes Bolingbrook
Bolingbrook's Mark Peterson had just come home from Christmas shopping on Saturday when his phone rang. Peterson answered the phone. The caller was a reporter from Fox News Japan. He wanted to ask him about the disappearance of Stacy Peterson. "I told him that I wasn't related to the family." Said Peterson. "The guy still wanted to interview me." According to Peterson, the reporter then asked him if was going to kill Drew Peterson if it is discovered he was involved in Stacy's disappearance. In Peterson's stunned silence, the reporter asked him if he would kill himself if Drew had in fact "dishonored" the Peterson name. "I hung up just as he asked if I was so addicted to meth that I couldn't care about my family's honor. What jerk! Then other media people started calling me! What's sad is that the Japanese guy was the nicest of the bunch!" Since Stacy Peterson's disappearance on October 28th, the national media have hounded innocent Bolingbrook citizens in their quest for "breaking news." Many residents have told The Babbler they're afraid to leave their homes for fear getting caught up in a "story." Resident Julia Parker says that tabloid reporters tried to use her 13 year-old son as a source. "This reporter asked my son if he was wearing a blue tie. He was, so my son said yes. The man gave him money. He asked my son a few more questions, and every time my son answered yes, the reporter paid him. Then the reporter started asking him about the case. As he asked the questions, he held up a wad of money. He asked questions that my son couldn't possibly know. My son was about to answer yes, so I stepped in! We don't need the money that badly!" The reporter, according to Parker, said he needed another source for his story so he couldn't get sued. It didn't matter what the source really knew, he just needed to list someone as a source for legal reason. "I said that it was wrong to exploit my son. He said that he was sorry, but this was a breaking story, and he didn't have time to do 'boring' research." Unfortunately, the tabloids aren't the only media outlets using questionable tactics. Karl Hallman said he was enjoying a mocha in the Promenade when a columnist asked to interview him about Stacy Peterson. He said no. According to Hallman, the columnist then said, "Do you not want to admit that you don't care about Stacy because feminism has actually devalued young women to the point that you think it is acceptable for a 53 year-old man to dispose of his 23 year-old wife?" When Hallman tried to walk away, the columnist yelled, "Are you so afraid to confront the possibility that a mixed community has become so sensitive that it cannot confront the disappearance of a young white woman and what it means for race relations in this country?" Until the case is resolved, Bolingbrook will continue to be flooded with reporters. The Bolingbrook Police department released a statement urging anyone with information about the case to call the Bolingbrook Police at (630) 226-8600 before talking to the media. More information about the case can be found at http://www.findstacypeterson.com/. Please note: All stories and characters on this web site are works of fiction. |
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