'Bad Astronomer' tells space alien convention,
Save us! Planet Earth is doomed!

By Reporter X

"Bad Astronomer" Phil Plait, standing inside a force field, poses for pictures at the Apollo 11 moon landing site

Astronomer Phil Plait warned an interstellar convention that Earth is doomed to fall into another dark age unless aliens publicly reveal themselves.

"From the Bible Belt to the Middle East, the forces of pseudo-science are on the rise. Religious fanatics preach mass destruction. New Age fanatics preach crystal worship. Hucksters preach phony products. Humanity needs to see the real possibilities for our future. We, as a race, need to see how other races have faced the same challenges we now face, and they overcame those challenges."

Astronomer Phil Plait, writer of the Bad Astronomy web site, http://www.badastronomy.com, was honored at the Interstellar Alliance for the Advancement of Science convention held at the Clow UFO Base in Bolingbrook, IL. The IAAS is responsible for the introduction of "primitive" civilizations, like Earth, into galactic society. Plait was honored for his posts criticizing claims that the NASA's moon landing was a hoax.

Explained Head Scientist Xklock, "We spread the moon landing hoax meme to see if humans could see the obvious errors in this meme. Sadly, this meme is more popular among humans than it should be. We blame the Fox Network for this. But one man has braved the wrath of Fox to expose the truth. The truth is that through science, even a primitive society can rise up, and reach its neighboring satellite. Phil Plait is proof that there is hope for the human race."

A seemingly humbled Plait accepted an award and a check from the alliance. In his acceptance speech, Plait started by talking about his current project, a book about possible dangers to Earth from outer space.

"Now as I've been working on my book, I'm starting to realize that the greatest threat to humanity isn't from space. It isn't from an asteroid, a black hole, or a gamma ray burst. It's from us. We are a divided race, but science brings us together. Today science is under attack."

Plait then implored the gathered aliens to reveal themselves to humanity. "Since 2001, too many humans have looked to the future with fear. Even Barack Obama wants to delay the manned space program. All of you gathered here can show humanity that space is the future. Because of space travel, your civilizations will prevail for millions of years. Your species is not tied to a single planet. Please, show humanity that there is a future for us. That there are many wonders for humans to see and explore. Please, don't let humanity fall into a global dark age."

When Plait finished, Xklock responded that humanity was not ready to learn advanced scientific concepts.

"There are many races who fear what would happen if Tom Cruise and Church of Scientology were to gain access to interstellar travel. Their quest to find Xemu could lead to the conquest of billions of worlds. We just can't take that chance."

After the convention, IAAS took Plait on a field trip to the Apollo 11 moon-landing site. A tearful Plait said, "I know this is whole convention is going to be wiped from my memory, but I hope I remember the joy and awe that I am experiencing right now. And I hope that feeling will fuel me when I fight the idiots who say we never landed on the moon."

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