Penn and Teller debunk Bolingbrook
Have the famous magicians gone too far?

Did Penn (left) and Teller (Right) almost film an episode of their Showtime series devoted to disproving Bolingbrook, IL?

Is Bolingbrook, IL too unbelievable to be true? According to Josh, a former Showtime intern, magicians Penn and Teller were planning on devoting an episode of their show, with an unprintable title, to debunking Bolingbrook's existence.

Josh, who grew up in Bolingbrook, says the duo originally wanted to debunk Clow UFO Base during the sixth season of their show. He said things then got out of hand.

"At some point in the production meeting, Penn just said, 'Why stop at the UFO base? This whole Bolingbrook village is (expletive deleted) unbelievable!' I tried to tell him that I'm from Bolingbrook, but he replied with words that I can't repeat to you."

Though Penn and Teller never filmed any sequences for the episode, Josh provided The Babbler with the script. The script makes fun of the basic facts about Bolingbrook, and ridicules any one who believes Bolingbrook exists.

Near the beginning, Penn and Teller make fun of the history of Bolingbrook.

Penn: According to Wikipedia, that bastion of accuracy, Bolingbrook was founded in 1965. Founding a Chicago suburb in 1965?

(Penn and Teller are dressed up as hippies. In front of them is a big bong. Teller is also wearing a wool cap.)

Penn: Hey man. You know what Chicago really needs? It needs another suburb. What should we call it?

(Teller takes off his cap. A bowling ball falls out.)

Penn: Yeah man, we'll call it Bolingbrook, because, you know, people in the suburbs like to bowl. Now what should the colors of Bolingbrook be?

(Teller takes a long hit from the bong. He exhales blue, white, black and green smoke.)

Penn: Wow, those are some groovy colors. Now we just need a flag, man.

(Teller starts to look sick. Then he vomits up the Bolingbrook flag.)

Penn: Groovy man. That flag is a trip. Oh who the (expletive deleted) are we kidding? You'd have to be stoned to come up with these (expletive deleted) colors and this (expletive deleted) flag! Look, it has the name Bolingbrook on it. Are the residents of Bolingbrook that (expletive deleted) stupid?

(Penn holds up the flag. Teller's thumb catches fire. He holds his thumb under the flag. It starts to burn.)

Penn: No self-respecting person would live anywhere under this (expletive deleted) excuse for a (expletive deleted) flag. This is one flag that deserves to be burned!

Later in the script, Penn and Teller try to debunk Bolingbrook High School.

(Adult women wearing replicas of the BHS cheerleader uniform surround Penn and Teller.)

Penn: Once again, Wikipedia tells us that Bolingbrook High School's nickname is The Raiders. The Raiders! And we're supposed to believe that Al Davis doesn't have a problem with this? Give me a (expletive deleted) break!

(The women rip off their uniforms showing their naked bodies.)

Penn: There's no way Al Davis would allow a high school to use the name "Raiders." That's just more proof that BHS is a bunch of BS. They're as real as these outfits these cheerleaders are now wearing!

(Naked cheerleaders start bouncing and rubbing up against Penn and Teller.)

Josh also provided The Babbler with the only interview shot for the show. In the video, a man in a straight jacket screams at the camera and says, "Woo Hoo! I’m nuts! I'm crazy! I can't be held responsible for my actions. I grew up in Bolingbrook. Roger Claar is the second coming of Jesus and Mohammad combined!"

He was going to be presented as the "Bolingbrook expert," says Josh.

The episode was canceled when, according to Josh, the producers actually visited Bolingbrook. After arguing about the reliability of their eyewitness testimony with Penn and Teller, the duo finally backed down, and accepted Bolingbrook's existence.

"I'll give them this much." Said Josh. "When presented with strong evidence, they changed their minds."

A producer for the show, who asked not to be identified, strongly denied Josh's allegations.

"Josh is an estranged former intern who has a grudge against the production staff. Let me assure you that Penn and Teller believe in Bolingbrook."

Before the interview ended, a man sounding like Penn grabbed the phone from the producer.

"Do you think we're stupid?" Said the man. "Do you think we've never heard of Stacy Peterson? You don't think we've known Steve Dahl for years? You guy are a bunch of (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) idiots writing for an (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) excuse for a tabloid. If your (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) readership wasn't so (expletive deleted) small, like your (expletive deleted), we would devote an entire episode to your (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) publication. You should change your name to (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted)! Oh, and all Josh ever did was gamble all night and sleep during the day!"

When The Babbler reached Teller, the resulting interview was unprintable.

|

Please note: All stories and characters on this web site are works of fiction.