Bolingbrook Police open fire on 'Rick Rollers'

The Bolingbrook Police Department expresses their opinion of "Rick Rolling."

Bolingbrook's first "Rick Rolling" incident ended violently as the police opened fired on six teenagers. The teens were dancing to Rick Astley's 1987 hit song "Never Gonna Give You Up" at a special village board meeting when the police opened fire on them.

"Dude!" Cried Carl Anders, 14. "We were just bored, and we thought we'd Rick Roll a government meeting. I searched the Internet and saw that Bolingbrook was having a special board meeting. So we went to it and started playing Rick. We didn't want to hurt anyone. We thought it would be fun."

The special meeting Anders referred to was actually a meeting between the village board and developers of a proposed Roger Claar Convention Center. Mayor Claar, sources say, was not pleased by the Rick Rollers' stunt.

"I was having fun dancing, and then I saw this old dude scowling at me." Said Jane, 14, one of the Rick-rollers. "Then he picked up his cell phone and walked off stage. I figured he was calling the police."

Officers ran onto stage, and almost immediately opened fire on the Rick-rollers. Anonymous sources within the police department say that the officers were acting under Village Ordinance 2001 93z. Also known as the "Protect Bolingbrook from Tom Green Ordinance," it empowers police officers to use "unrestricted force" to "protect the reputation and dignity of Bolingbrook and its residents from exploitation by the non-news media." Before the Rick-rollers, Bolingbrook officers only considered using force when Steve-O from MTV's "Jackass" stopped at a local gas station.

When police opened fire, Rick Rollers ran for their lives. None of them were injured, and police did leave a path for their escape.

"I wet my pants!" sobbed Anders. Why didn't they just arrest us? Why did they try to kill us?"

An anonymous village official explained.

"Developers of convention centers always have concerns about local security. So these Rickers could have cost us the convention center. Would you want to host a convention and during the big speech, your Guest of honor is Ricked? So we had to make a dramatic example of these Rickers."

"Rick Rolling" started on the Internet when a person would trick someone into clicking on a link, which would bring up Rick Astley's music video. It later escalated to people publicly playing the song and video taping it for broadcast on YouTube. This may be the first "Rick Rolling" to result in violent retaliation.

According to Jane, no legal action will be taken against the village.

"If we tell our parents, they'll ground us! They didn't tell our parents, so nothing is going to happen. We learned our lesson."

When asked for comment, Mayor Claar laughed and told The Babbler, "I think the ordinance should be expanded to include the news media."

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