World of Warcraft monster attacks Lisle

The only eyewitness photo of a creature from the video game World of Warcraft attacking Lisle, IL Village Hall.

A flying monster from the online game World of Warcraft escaped into the real world and terrorized Lisle. No one was killed, but the monster caused an estimated $1,000,000 in damages.

The monster was first reported over the Lisle post office.

"I didn't know what to think of it." Said Jan L. Paulson of Lisle. "It looked like one of those bad CGI monsters you see on the Sci-fi Channel. Only it wasn't on TV. It was in the sky in real life. Let me tell you, after seeing that thing, I will never watch a Sci-fi Channel movie the same way again. Now they'll actually be scary to me."

The creature then landed on the roof of an apartment.

"I was writing a nice review of my apartment," Said a resident who only identified himself as David. "Then I heard some scratching on my ceiling. I live on the top floor, so I thought it was just a bird or something. Then this thing's head crashed through the wall. It looked like something out of WoW, only it was a few feet away from me, and it looked like it wanted to chomp off my face." David ran into the bathroom, and called 911.

"They thought I was joking and they were going to send a police officer to arrest me." Said David.

When Officer Willard arrived, he immediately saw the creature nesting on the roof.

"I started to point my gun at it, but then something in my head said, 'are you nuts?' So I got back into my car and called for backup."

With the police on red alert, the creature took flight again, heading towards the Lisle train station.

A sniper, who asked not to be identified, described what happened next.

"I was stationed on the roof of Village Hall when I saw the creature flying towards the station. I asked for permission to engage. The answer was no, but then I heard someone in the background. I think it was the mayor. Anyway the guy said that if we didn't fire, the state would be mad because we let it destroy a Metra station. Then I got the order to fire."

Bullets didn't harm the creature. Instead it charged at Village Hall, and started to dig through the roof. Though the building was built to withstand a nuclear attack 40 miles away, it seemed like the creature was only minutes away from breaking in.

Firefighter Joan Humphrey, watching from the nearby station, had an idea.

"It looked something from my nephew's video game." She said. "I remember an old episode of The Amazing Spider-man and Friends where they had to fight a video game monster. I thought they used an electromagnet to erase it. So I suggested the idea to my commander, and we threw together an electromagnet from our emergency generator."

Humphrey was then "voluntold" to draw the creature to the magnet. She waved her arms, shouted at it, but that didn't seem to work. When she called it a "newbie level monster," the creature looked up, and then charged at her. The creature exploded into cloud of pixilated sparks when it reached the magnet.

"It's nice to know that you can defeat a monster without using explosives." Humphrey said.

The Babbler located the man who brought the creature into the real world. Bob, not his real name, said it was an accident. He was at work when his wife called.

"She said that my parents wanted to come over to dinner that night. I told her that I was going level my World of Warcraft character tonight. She said that I needed to spend more time with my family. Why? I lived with my parents for 18 years, and now they want to spend even more time with me? Can't I have any time to myself?"

Bob decided to play WoW on his worksite's supercomputer, thinking no one would notice. Unknown to Bob, the supercomputer managed to bring one of the games many monsters to life.

"I didn't know it was going to do that. I was just trying to get my character to level three."

Bob won't pay for the damages, but he says he will no longer play WoW.

"I'm playing Eve Online now." Said Bob. "That way if a pirate ship breaks through, it will just crash since they haven't released the atmospheric flight patch yet."

And if someone is under the ship at the time?

"I can't help it if people don't look up more often!"

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