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Webcams to be added to streetlightsWebcams will allow Internet users to see into your home!The Babbler has learned that the Village of Bolingbrook will equip all streetlights with cameras. The cameras are equipped with infrared sensors and special microphones that can see and hear what goes on inside the nearby houses. Not only that, but the video feed will be sold to an Internet porn site! Sources at Village Hall defended the decision to place hidden cameras on the streetlights. "Look, people want to live in a secure village, and the only way to do that is monitor everything." Said an anonymous source. "Sure we could have limited our viewing to the streets, but that would just drive the criminals indoors. I don't know about you, but I don't want criminals in my house." The same sources also dismiss charges that the cameras and microphones violates residents' right to privacy. "Show me where in The Constitution it mentions the right to privacy." Asked a source close to Village Attorney. "You can't, can you? Because it's not in there. I'm so sick of those bleed heart liberals whining about the so-called right to privacy. If the Founding fathers wanted us to have a right to privacy, don't you think they would have mentioned it in The Constitution?" In order to afford this sophisticated surveillance equipment, the village sold the broadcast rights to an Internet porn site. Terms of the sale were not available at press time. "Hey, it was either that, or raise taxes. You know how much Roger hates to raise taxes." Said another source. The porn site, whose name is unprintable, feels that it will make millions on the deal. "This will be bigger than Jennicam!" Said site president Jack Chester. "Jennicam just shows one woman. Boring! We'll access to the intimate moments of over 50,000 people. There's always something going on in Bolingbrook. Sure they're not all super models, but you'll be amazed at what people will watch! Heck, you should see the hits on our 300 plus pound models page!" Public reaction against the plan has been overwhelming. "Roger Claar has no business in my bedroom!" Said Art Bell Party Spokesperson Jake Nestor. "This is all the more reason to dump him in 2001!" "I knew there was a reason the Village was putting up street lights in this neighbor after 30 years." Said a resident who wished to remain anonymous. "I'll take dark streets over Big Roger any old day!" Not all the reaction has been negative. "Dude!" Said a high school student. "There's this girl that I've always wanted to see naked. Now I can see her naked without the inconvenience of dating! I can't wait!" When asked to comment, Mayor Roger Claar replied, "God damn it! How do you guys come up with this crap?" |