Billy: A Memoir
A lot of people were upset by Edmund Morris's "Dutch: A Memoir of Ronald Reagan" but not me. Some historians are appalled at the way Morris blurred the line between fact and fiction by including himself as a fictional character. I say more power to him. Friends and advisors to Reagan question the accuracy of Morris's book. I couldn't care less.
Thanks to Morris, truth is no long an obstacle to writing a biography. If you don't feel like your subject is being open enough, no problem. Just make up a fictional character, and elaberate on what you already know. If you like, you can call it a post-modern history, or just say it's a unique work. Who cares about the obgliation to history? Anything goes as long it sells books.
In fact, I feel inspired to follow his example. Actually, I think I'll go a bit further. Morris blurred the line between fiction and biography. I'm going to erase that line all together!
I've just started work on my biography of President Clinton. Have ever interviewed the President? No. Have I interviewed anyone who knows him? No. But that's not going to stop me from writing "Billy: A Personal 'Memoir.'"
In post-modern style, I'm going to rip-off--I mean, pay homage to "Dutch" by creating my own fictional character. I'll call him Billy. Billy was also born in Hope, Arkansas, on the exact same day as President Clinton. Like the narriator in "Dutch," Billy falls into "rough crowd." In this case, it means Billy has a lot of scenes with Roger Clinton. Heck, that would be enough to fill a series of X-rated novels, but who wants to read the Roger Clinton story?
Besides, 80 percent of the book is going to be about Billy anyway. Why? Because I'm writing this story, that's why.
Anyway, Billy looks up to Bill Clinton as his hero, and tries to spend a lot of time around the future president. As a result, Billy witnesses a lot historical events.
Like in this scene where Clinton meets President Kenendy. After Kenendy shakes hand with Clinton, he walks over to Billy, where we have this exchange. (Because it's tiring writing in the narrative form, I'll switch to screenplay format just for the hell of it.)
Kenendy (happily): What's your name young man?
Billy (excitited): Billy!
Kenendy (surprised): Billy, eh. That almost sounds like Bill, the young man I just met.
Billy (extastic): Yeah. Bill's my hero!
Kenendy (seriously): That's a wise choice young man. Just between you and me, Bill is going to be President someday, and he's going to be a better President than I'll ever dream of being.
Billy (humbled): Wow!
Oh heck, why stop at Billy witnessing Clinton's history. I'll make him a participant. Billy will be the one who introduces Hillary to Bill. Then he'll be the man who escorts Jennifer Flowers up to Clinton's hotel room. Several years later, he'll recruit Monica to become a White House Intern. Then he'll accidently tip off Linda Tripp about the affair. When he learns what Tripp is trying to do to the President, he'll send a nasty e-mail to Drudge, which lead him to expose Monicagate. And then--
Oh, I think you get the picture.
I'm sure people are going to be upset at my treatment of President Clinton. Say what you will, but at leastI'll never be accused of squandering a historic oppertunity to interview a President. I never had that oppertunity in the first place. That's something Morris can never say.