New Wave Software
Back in 1991, I came up with the idea for this skit. Back then, there was a Leftist political group at the University of Iowa called New Wave that had been around for about ten years. 1991 also saw the opening of a game store called New Wave Software. I didn't care for New Wave back then, and I thought it would be funny to do a skit on Public Access TV about New Wave entering the software business.
I didn't write it back then because I didn't want to get in trouble with the store, and New Wave was pretty much dead in 1991. Though if I had written it, it would have gone something like this…
(Opening shot: People dressed up like political activists are waving signs at the camera. Instead of political slogans, they're pictures of video characters.)
Bruce: Hello Iowa City! I'm Bruce, and I want you to march on down to New Wave Software to protest our competitor's high prices! Now, people have come up to me and said, "Bruce, I thought New Wave was a political group." (Laughs) Friends, times have changed, and New Wave is changing with them. New Wave Software is a united front dedicated to giving you, the consumer, the best games at the lowest prices! Just listen to these deals our sales people have for you!
(Bruce walks over to woman holding up a Ms. Pac-Man sign.)
Jill: Women Unite! Take back the Console! Stop by New Wave Software and get 10% off female-centered games! And that's not all! Pre-order Metroid this week, and get free verification for the Woman's Room on ISCABBS! Offer only applies to women! Yes, you've seen the commercials, and I'm sure you're saying to yourself, "Metroid is another white-male centered game!" Now I can't give away the secret, but trust me women of Iowa City, you won't want to miss this game! Reserve your copy of Metroid today and take back the console!
(Bruce walks over to a man waving a pink triangle sign.)
Andrew: I'm here! I'm queer! Buy my software! This month save 10% on all Mario Brothers games and celebrate gay pride! Come on! You didn't really think they were brothers did you? So come out and support Mario and Luigi!
(Bruce walks over to a man waving a sign with a fist on it.)
Paul: Students! You study! You struggle! Now get ready for the revolution. Buy one war game, and get the second for half off! When the pigs come for you, these war games will give you the skills necessary to fight back! You can't get this kind of military training anywhere else. Study, struggle, and buy my war games. Viva la revolution!
Bruce: So liberate yourself from the bourgeois game stores, and join the progressive software movement.
All: Hey! Hey! Ho! Ho! Our software has got to go! Hey! Hey! Ho! Ho! Our software has got to go!